Irrational Thinking

Last night I went to bed earlier than I have since I began BFL.  Getting more sleep is a good thing for me.  When the alarm went off at 5:00 am, I hopped out of bed and headed straight to the gym.  (I didn’t even hit snooze!)  I’m getting better at this.

Today was the treadmill.  Two words…..HATED IT! Knowing that my goal is to increase my intensity (for me that means speed), I really didn’t want to start at a faster rate.  I actually debated with myself about why I shouldn’t go faster.  But a smarter head prevailed and I did go up 1 level. I’m still tricking myself to keep going throughout the 20 minutes but it’s working. I’m getting faster and by the end of the run I was drained.

I am a very competitive person.  I think that’s part of the reason why I’m taking this challenge so seriously.  The bad thing is sometimes it leads me to some irrational thinking.  As I’ve said before, it’s hard to see people in the gym who have clearly worked hard to have awesome physiques and wonder why I’m not at that level. I really do know the answer…they’ve worked hard for it while I have done nothing until now. 

Then I look at people who I perceive are in about my shape or worse and wonder why can they run faster, lift more or seem to have more energy. Like I said irrational but I think it’s part of my nature to compare myself to others. I’m trying to teach myself to not to focus on others but to look at myself and work on me to achieve my own goals.  That’s a hard thing to do especially when I don’t think I see any changes yet. But when do I start seeing a change?  I’d like to see something in me so I can feel that this routine is really working.